<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<head>
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<title>Exception by MizutaniShizuku</title>
<style type="text/css">

body { background-color: #ffffff; }
.CI {
text-align:center;
margin-top:0px;
margin-bottom:0px;
padding:0px;
}
.center   {text-align: center;}
.cover    {text-align: center;}
.full     {width: 100%; }
.quarter  {width: 25%; }
.smcap    {font-variant: small-caps;}
.u        {text-decoration: underline;}
.bold     {font-weight: bold;}
</style>
</head>
<body>
<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28763613">Exception</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/MizutaniShizuku/pseuds/MizutaniShizuku'>MizutaniShizuku</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Action, Action &amp; Romance, Action/Adventure, Canon-Typical Violence, Drinking, Enemies to Lovers, F/M, Kissing, Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin) Swears, Love Triangles, Monke Mania, Plot Twists, Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan Manga Spoilers, Soft Zeke</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-01-15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-03-28</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 05:15:01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>5</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>17,235</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28763613</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/MizutaniShizuku/pseuds/MizutaniShizuku</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>As one of the surviving members of Hange's Squad, your new mission is to protect Zeke and prevent him from escaping the forest. However, Zeke isn't who you thought he would be. While you imagined him to be cruel and incapable of emotion, he is surprisingly thoughtful and full of empathy. Your relationship as his guard may flourish into something more. Not if Levi can help it.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin)/Reader, Levi/Reader, Rico Brzenska/Hugo, Zeke Yeager &amp; Reader, Zeke Yeager/Reader</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>111</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>437</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Cruel Fate</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Perched up on one of the many trees within the forests of Wall Maria, you peer down below you. A bespectacled blond man with eyes that rival arctic ice gazes at a book he has read for the umpteenth time. He exhales audibly. </p>
<p>"If you keep staring, you might just fall in love with me." </p>
<p>You scoff. “Keep on dreaming”. </p>
<p>Attaching the wires of your ODM gear to a nearby branch, you shift your weight at an angle to reach the mossy forest floor. With a light thud, you land on the ground. It’s only been two years since the new ODM gear was introduced, but since then, you have spent every grueling day and night mastering the gear. </p>
<p>In the beginning, it was difficult adjusting to the gear. New weapons were fastened around each limb, effectively weighing them down thus making it difficult to maneuver. But with Mikasa’s tips and Sasha’s rewarding snacks, once you mastered each new movement, progress was inevitable. </p>
<p>Ruminating in the memories of Sasha brought a wave of sadness within your heart. Her death still felt surreal. Even after the funeral ceremony had taken place, Mikasa and you had spent hours next to her grave. Niccolo had managed to drag you both to his cozy restaurant and feed you Sasha’s favorite dishes. After eating a warm meal and sharing your favorite memories of Sasha, a small weight had been lifted off your chest.</p>
<p>Niccolo turned to face you. “Do what you must, but make sure Sasha’s death was not in vain.” Mikasa nodded and you took his words to heart. Sasha would not have wanted to see you like this. Weak. Weakness does not survive in this cruel world. </p>
<p>Upon seeing your features soften, Zeke asks, “Who’s got you down this time?”</p>
<p>You sigh and drop to your knees. With your fingers, you rub in gentle circular motions over your aching heart. </p>
<p>“Sasha”. It had been weeks, yet the throb never went away. Her death hit the hardest perhaps because it was the freshest. </p>
<p>Zeke squints his eyes slightly and recounts the girl Gabi shot on the blimp. He remembers the way you held her hand until the light left her eyes. The endless tears streamed down your face. When Sasha had died, a part of you had as well. </p>
<p>“After experiencing the deaths of hundreds of fellow scouts, you’d expect me to handle death better, wouldn’t you?” You looked down at your hands. Deft fingers wired with muscle from years of training. </p>
<p>A phantom hand held yours. Sasha’s hand. From before infiltrating Liberio. You were filled with jittery nerves and Sasha comforted you. She took your hand and promised that after all this, you can eat all of the wonderful food the world has to offer together. Sasha managed to cheer you up even when you were dangling on the edge of disparity. </p>
<p>Now, who would cheer you up when you’re down? </p>
<p>“You can never get used to the feeling of death. No matter how many times you go through it.” Zeke pauses and looks at you, memorizing your expression. </p>
<p> “Believe me, I’ve tried.” Zeke shifts his weight on the crate and scopes the depths of the forest. He begins to reminisce about all the people he had lost. Ksaver. His parents. The Restorationists he sold out. </p>
<p>“However, this sadness is what makes us human. It’s what reminds us to move forward.” His eyes relax. You nod your head and suppress a shudder. The enemy is attempting to comfort you, and the gesture is disgusting. </p>
<p>“You know you don’t have to make me feel better. We are enemies after all.” You scowl. Your previous depressive thoughts are all but forgotten. Perhaps that was his plan all along, but you don’t ponder on that for long. </p>
<p>“Well, you know what they say, keep your friends close and your enemies closer.” His eyes return to his book. A small smile covers his face. Your own eyes return to the surrounding vicinity. Those are your orders after all. To guard the Beast Titan and ensure he does not escape the forest.</p><hr/>
<p>After a few hours of watching over Zeke and getting lost in your thoughts, you hear light footsteps approaching. You straighten your back and turn your body to the directions of the footsteps. If Zeke hears the footsteps, he pays no attention to it and turns the next page of his book. </p>
<p>The footsteps come to a stop and you look up to greet the raven-haired man with clear, gray eyes. Captain Levi stops a few feet away from where you are situated and asks, “Status report?” in a cold voice. </p>
<p>“Same as usual, sir. Beast Titan shifter has not moved from his spot on the crate.” You respond. You know Levi’s wrath is not directed at you but the man of the hour, Zeke. </p>
<p>Zeke snickers. “You come to check up on me so often. One would mistake our meetings for romantic encounters,” he closes his book. The russet binding is worn down from decades of use. </p>
<p>“I wonder if you can crack jokes once I have sliced you up… <i>again </i>” Levi deadpans, emphasizing the last word. In the corner of your eye, you can see a shudder go down Zeke’s spine as if he is reliving the experience. </p>
<p>Levi turns and gives you the same orders you’ve followed for weeks. “Make sure he stays put and doesn’t pull anything.” </p>
<p>You incline your head and answer “Yes, Captain.” After saluting, Levi leaves you alone with Zeke and heads to where the rest of the Scouts are, scattered among the trees. </p>
<p>Once Levi is out of earshot, Zeke begins to speak “Does he always have a stick up his ass?”. He makes a crude gesture with his hands indicating how far the stick would be.</p>
<p>Your eyes narrow as you answer, “You did annihilate most of the Scouts and Commander Erwin in Shiganshina four years ago. Levi’s not the type to forget.”</p>
<p>Zeke pretends you had just thrown a thunder spear through his chest and clutches dramatically around his shoulders. “How can I forget my war crimes? Levi has been itching to kill me since then. One day, he will.” </p>
<p>At this, a small laugh breaks through your impassive facade. You were at the Shiganshina battle as well but on the other side of the wall. As a new member of Hange’s squad, your orders were to stop the Armored Titan. Unfortunately, the Armoured Titan paid you no attention and went after Eren. </p>
<p> After a battle of attrition with Reiner, resulting in dozens of thunder spears lodged all over his body, tearing off his armor piece by piece, does Reiner release an enraged roar and admit defeat. Right on time, Bertholdt decided to finally make an appearance and destroy most of Shiganshina by transforming into the Colossus. Since you and the rest of the Hange squad were close to Bertholdt before his transformation, most of the squad was eliminated within seconds. </p>
<p>You used what gas you had remaining to hurtle yourself inside the closest well. The explosion was instantaneous and detrimental, you prayed the rest of your squad had survived. The fall into the well had left you severely concussed and it took far longer than you had liked to get back to the battlefield. </p>
<p>By the time you made it out of the well, Bertholdt was incinerating a fellow soldier, Eren was nowhere to be found, and Levi Squad was still dealing with Reiner, who had somehow managed to heal all of the wounds the thunder spears inflicted. You took it upon yourself to make a break for Bertholdt and take him out while he was distracted with what was left of a soldier. </p>
<p> Once Bertholdt stopped emitting the flesh burning steam, you had made your way up his massive body and pinned your wires in his nape. With a few swift slices, you had delimbed Bertholdt and brought him to a nearby rooftop. Eren found you and landed on the rooftop with a scorched corpse in his hands. Tears fell down his face and his whole body shuddered. The soldier’s body was beyond identifiable, serious third-degree burns covered his entire body. </p>
<p>“Armin.” Eren sobbed into Armin’s chest. Your body went slack and you dropped Bertholdt in shock. Armin, who was built like a daffodil but possessed the intelligence to determine the identity of the Female Titan, form a plan to successfully capture Annie, and even knew where Reiner was hiding before he could attack. Armin, the genius who had saved all of our asses time and time again, laid lifeless in his hometown. You fell to your knees next to Bertholdt, the air forced out of your lungs. </p>
<p>Suddenly large footsteps approached the roof, sounding eerily of titans. You held Bertholdt close and prepared to escape and turned to Eren to make sure he did the same. You had next to no gas left, but you wouldn’t go down without a fight. The quadruped titan climbed the other side of the roof with ease, a blonde man with Titan markings and steam pouring out of where his arms should be, in its mouth. </p>
<p>“Are you Eren Yeager?” The limbless man questioned Eren. </p>
<p>“You look nothing like your father.” Eren’s eyes widened in shock. He took a step back and held Armin’s body close, ready to flee. </p>
<p>“Step back” you demand, your voice commanding, not showing an ounce of the fear that quaked your body. The blond man’s eyes turn to you now. Taking in your form for the first time and notes the way you hold your blade to Bertholdt's neck until small droplets of blood form, threatening to spill over. </p>
<p>“I guess this is goodbye Bertholdt.” The quadruped moves to climb off the rooftop but not before the man with the titan markings squeezes in a few last words, “I will come back to save you, Eren”. </p>
<p>Eren doesn’t respond and turns his attention to Armin. Eren slumps to the floor and lays Armin down next to him. “We have to go see the sea, Armin. You can’t give up just yet” Eren slams his fist into the tiles of the roof. </p>
<p>Captain Levi lands on the rooftop with a thud, covered in titan blood and steam, but otherwise unscathed. He shouts at Eren to switch blades and gas canisters with him. Armin releases a shallow breath, his blistered chest falling painfully. </p>
<p>“That’s it, Armin! Take another deep breath.” Eren inhales and exhales loudly and to your surprise, Armin follows, taking more shallow breaths. </p>
<p>Mikasa lands on the roof moments later followed by the rest of Levi Squad and Squad Leader Hange.  What was left of the Survey Corps was gathered on a single rooftop with two soldiers holding on for dear life. Commander Erwin and Armin. While the decision for you was obvious, Mikasa and Eren fought tooth and nail to ensure Levi would pick Armin. You struggled to hold back Mikasa as she went in and attacked Levi. </p>
<p> She easily flipped you over and you landed hard on your stomach. Jean held you in his arms while you tried to make sense of the stars in your vision. When you came to, you saw a shaggy blonde-haired Pure Titan bite into Bertholdt’s screaming form. You saw Eren, Mikasa, and Connie pull Armin out of the titan, the scorched flesh moments before turned to smooth, supple skin. </p>
<p> <i> Levi made the right choice. </i>Your last coherent thought before the world turned pitch black. </p>
<p>It was laughable how the man who slaughtered all of the Survey Corps and its Commander was now the very man being protected by the Survey Corps in what was an unpredictable alliance. A cruel fate. An empty laugh escapes your lips and you remember the faces of the members of Hange’s squad that we lost that day. Moblit. Rashad. Lauda. Zeke killed dozens of Survey Corps members. Now your orders are to protect this man with your life. A cruel fate indeed. </p>
<p>“For your sake, I hope so.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Hii this is the first fanfic I have written. After reading the manga and seeing MAPPA Zeke, I have definitely fallen for him. It is an injustice that there isn't a lot of Zeke fanfic, so I thought, why not write one?</p>
<p>Let me know what you think! The next chapter will include more Levi. Comment feedback!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Judgement</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Your eyes snap open to the gentle sunlight pouring through the forest. Another sleepless night. The night watch squad returning from their position in the trees brings you to your feet. You change from the loose shirt which you slept in into the standard black uniform. Levi finds you resting on a branch as you count the bullets in your holsters. </p><p>“Where have you been? I looked everywhere for you.” His usual calm eyes show a hint of annoyance. </p><p>“My orders to guard Zeke don't begin until noon today, sir. I thought I could use the time before then to clean and count my gear.” You respond with an even voice.</p><p>“Oh, you are on a first name basis with the Beast Titan?” He sneers. “How distasteful.” You roll your eyes when Levi continues. </p><p>“Your orders have changed. You are to train with me until your guard duties begin.” Levi beckons you with a flick of his wrist.  </p><p>Levi does not hold back when it comes to training. He pushes you beyond your physical limits and has a sarcastic remark ready for every mistake you make. Levi’s condescending attitude is what silences your stubbornness and push through the strenuous exercise. </p><p>“It’s a wonder you’ve made it this far.” He counters upon seeing your lackluster form when you haven’t mastered a particularly difficult maneuver after a single demonstration. You huff and lock your jaw close so no snide comments escape your lips. <i>Short bastard.<i> You pull yourself up and attempt the maneuver once more. </i></i></p><p>
  <i>
    <i></i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i></i>
</p><p>It’s almost noon when Levi assigns the cooldown. “Five laps around the forest”. He instructs, unaffected when your face falls to a frown. Your muscles ache and you're out of breath. Your face is hot and red from the excruciating training you had just endured. Levi must be some sort of sadist. He just loves seeing you in pain. </p><p> You nod and give a curt “Yes, sir,” before falling on the ground on your back in exhaustion. Levi could have you out of breath and sweating in so many other ways, but brutal training is the way he goes about it. You sigh and recline back on your elbows. Levi is a bit out of breath and leans back on a tree. His hair is glistening with sweat and his white shirt is damp from the training exercise. If you squint closely, you can just make out his muscular figure through his translucent shirt. </p><p>“If you have time to stare, then you have time to get started on your cooldown.” He barks, catching you in your crime. You start running immediately, not wanting to deal with the embarrassment. Your face is red and hot for reasons other than the workout. </p><p> By the time you have completed the cooldown, your body is drenched and reeks of sweat. <i>Maybe, I can take a quick bath.<i> You trudge through the forest, towards the pond. The water is cool and welcoming, a refreshing dip is just what your sore muscles needed. After a rapid rinse, you pull on a clean uniform and towel dry your hair. You ran back to base and strap your weapons and ODM gear to your body, you start jogging to the area of the forest where Zeke is being held.</i></i></p><p>
  <i>
    <i></i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i></i>
  </i>
</p><p>“You’re late,” Levi states with an annoyed edge to his voice. He straightens from the tree he was perched on and drops from the branch. Levi notes your wet strands as your chest rises and falls to catch your breath. </p><p> “I apologize, sir. I thought I had time to take a quick rinse before my duties began.” You answer, wiping away at the sweat forming on your forehead. You remember your last conversation with Levi and it brings heat to your face. </p><p> “Tch. Excuses, excuses. Make sure I don’t have to cover your ass again.” He taunts, leaving you speechless. He’s the reason you had to take a bath. If he hadn’t pushed you beyond your physical limits, maybe you wouldn’t have been left as sweaty and sticky as you were.</p><p> You silently nod your head and salute before Levi leaves you alone with Zeke. Zeke looks as impassive as always when he’s alone with Levi. The tension between them was suffocating, it’s a miracle the two survived when left to their own devices. 
</p><p>You take a seat on a crate next to Zeke and rest your head in your hands. Another day of protecting the Beast Titan until Commander Hange sends word. </p>
<hr/><p> After a few hours, you peer over Zeke’s shoulder to catch a few words. The words are foreign and share no similarity to the language you have learned to read in. You try to make out the words, but they translate to gibberish. Catching your gaze, Zeke looks at you over the rims of his glasses. You can see the golden flecks in his pale blue eyes, and the sight is hypnotizing. He sees the question you are craving to ask and waits patiently for the words to escape your lips. </p><p>“What are you always reading?” You ask, genuine curiosity lace your words. </p><p>“It’s the original story of Ymir Fritz. Haven’t you heard it before?” Zeke answers, a small smile dancing in his mouth. You always wear an expressionless mask around him, so when you do show your true emotions, he is mesmerized. </p><p> “Sort of.” You answer, sitting behind Zeke on his crate and relaxing your shoulders. “Her story is more of a fairytale around here.” </p><p>“Well, tell me what you know. And I can fill in the gaps.” Zeke responds, slightly shocked with how close you’re letting yourself be near him. Usually, you leave a few feet between him. From this close, he can smell the floral shampoo waft off your hair. </p><p>“Ymir made a deal with the devil that resulted in her inheriting the power of 9 titans. She won wars, built roads, and overall brought wealth and prosperity for the Eldians. She married King Fritz and passed down her Titan powers to her three daughters, Maria, Rose, and Sina.” You answer in one breath. The knowledge rolls off your tongue with ease.</p><p>“You’re right. This book just covers everything you’ve said but in more depth. From Ymir’s humble beginnings to King Fritz cutting her body into pieces and forcing his daughters to eat her, once her 13 years are up.” Zeke explains. </p><p> A shudder inches down your spine. You obviously knew how the titan powers were inherited but you just hadn’t made the connection with Ymir and her daughters. “Not so much a fairytale.” You whisper. A grim shadow covers your features. </p><p>Zeke nods. “What I don’t understand is, why Ymir made the deal with the devil in the first place and what she exchanged for the titan powers.” He shakes his head in frustration and flips through the pages. </p><p> You think about it for a moment. Ymir was a slave. She freed some pigs when she saw them trapped in a pen. When the slave owner threatened to take out an eye off of each of them unless the true culprit revealed themself, the slaves blamed her. Ymir was chased down and hunted for sport by dogs and soldiers alike until she stumbled across a tree and met the devil. She came back with invincible titan powers. She was used by King Fritz to defeat his enemies and build roads. Ymir was then forced to bear King Fritz’s children. When things couldn’t get worse, Fritz forced Ymir’s daughters to eat her body, cutting her up himself. Ymir was a slave, her whole life, and well beyond it. </p><p> While you don’t know what Ymir exchanged for the titan powers, you could take a guess as to why. “Why would anyone ever make a deal with the devil? When they have absolutely nothing to lose. Ymir had been a slave her whole life. She thought if she made the deal with the devil, she would finally be free, but that wasn’t the case.” Sympathy washed over your words. “King Fritz never freed her, he only used Ymir as a pawn in his game of endless conquest.”</p><p> You pause, sadness pulling at your heartstrings. “Even now, I bet Ymir is still a slave, continuing to do only what King Fritz ordered, with no real will of her own.” You confess bit by bit. </p><p> Zeke ponders your theory. It’s believable. In fact, your theory beats whatever mild conspiracy he had come up with in the past few weeks. Until this moment, he had assumed Ymir had struck the deal for love. Ymir had never experienced love before, it's likely she longed to be loved and cherished, after living a slave her whole life. <i>What a hopeless romantic.<i> He thought to himself. </i></i></p><p>
  <i>
    <i></i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i></i>
  </i>
</p><p> “Once a slave, always a slave?” Zeke asks out loud, more to himself. </p><p>“Not quite.” You answer. “I believe Ymir is waiting for someone, anyone to understand her perspective and free her.” Your eyes meet Zeke’s and he is genuinely surprised at how quickly you were able to psychoanalyze Ymir and empathize with her. </p><p> “Why are you so obsessed over her anyway?” You ask as you take the book from his hands and flip through the pages aimlessly. </p><p> “I believe her story is key in understanding the titans and where they all come from.” Zeke watches as your nimble fingers stop through the different pages of the book. He notes with amusement the way your eyes narrow trying to make sense of the foreign words. </p><p> "I am surprised Marley doesn’t already know.” You tease. Your breath hitches when your eyes meet Zeke’s golden blue irises. Zeke grabs your hand and steals the book back. His movements are cold and calculating, yet pause a moment too long while he contemplates how perfectly your hand fits into his. </p><p>“Marley only knows how to effectively use the 7 titans under its control strategically in a battlefield. They’re just about clueless as you are when it comes to the origins of the titans and Ymir Fritz.” Zeke states. His words are a flick on your forehead. You remain slack-jawed for a moment before you fire up a snide response. </p><p>“Hey, at least I don’t brainwash Eldians into killing their own people.” You say while raising your hands at shoulder level, mocking Zeke. </p><p> Before Zeke could respond, you ask, “Why do you wear glasses?” Your eyes shift to the metal frames that hang loosely on his handsome face. “As a titan shifter, I thought you could heal any injury and fix any imperfection.” </p><p>Zeke fights the grin that reaches his face. <i>Even the smallest details don’t pass you.<i> He concludes, and begins to answer your innocent question; “I don’t actually need them to see.” Zeke removes his glasses and hands them to you. “They serve to remind me what I am doing this all for.” You pause at Zeke’s face, he looks 10 years younger without his glasses. Bewitched by his features, you only begin moving again when Zeke’s gaze meets yours. </i></i></p><p>
  <i>
    
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i> He watches as your hands carefully close around the frames and you bring them to your face. You are surprised to see how light they are. Hange’s glasses were much heavier compared to Zeke’s. It must be because of Marley’s advanced technology, they can mass-produce glasses this light. </i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>“What are you doing this for?” You pry without thinking. You peer into the glasses and squint to adjust to the power. </i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>“The glasses belonged to the previous Beast Titan shifter. He helped me get through some difficult times when I was younger. I promised him that I would free the Eldians from this cruel world.” Zeke replies, absorbed by the way his glasses fascinate you. </i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>“That’s a big promise to make.” You place the glasses on your nose. “How do I look?” you ask with a smile plastered on your face. </i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i> “I know, given the time I have left, but it’s worth the try. And absolutely comical.” His voice is light-hearted despite discussing his upcoming mortality. Zeke pinches at the bridge of your nose to remove his glasses and returns them to his face. </i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>“How much longer do you have left?”. Your own question surprises you. Why should you care how long Zeke had left to live? He is the enemy after all. </i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i> “I have a year left,” Zeke answers quietly. His eyes searching yours, wondering how you would react. </i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>You can’t help the way your eyes widen. <i>One year left… Zeke doesn’t seem young, but he’s definitely not old enough to die.<i> You swallow, but it proves to be difficult as your throat is drier than the barren deserts Armin would always obsess about. </i></i></i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>
      
    </i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>
      <i>“Are you afraid?” You ask in a hushed tone. Your heart bubbles with fear. Fear of the unknown. </i>
    </i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>
      
    </i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>
      <i>“No,” Zeke responds. “I have known for a long time that my life will never be my own.” He removes his gaze from your eyes and looks down at his hands on his lap. “I have committed many war crimes, killed thousands of people, and destroyed hundreds of cities and towns.” Zeke shudders, recalling the trauma he inflicted. </i>
    </i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>
      
    </i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>
      <i>You nod with understanding. You had slaughtered dozens of titans, but that was long before it was discovered that titans were once people. However, the realization does not excuse the extent of your crimes. You had killed people too, whether you like it or not. </i>
    </i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>
      
    </i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>
      <i> “I suppose we’re all criminals.” You lie down on the crate now and stare into the sky. “In the end, we will each face the judgment that awaits us and endure it till the bitter end.” The sun was setting, painting the clouds a bittersweet peach before slowly descending behind the clouds. 

</i></i></i></p><p>
  <i>
    <i>
      <i> The crate shifts and you can feel Zeke lie down next to you. He releases a deep sigh before closing his eyes. Perhaps it’s the way you carry yourself or the way you have an answer ready for all of his rhetorical questions, but he finds himself unmistakably drawn to you. </i>
    </i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>
      <i> Mikasa was right. The world is cruel, yet very beautiful.</i>
    </i>
  </i>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Hii</p><p>I won't be rehashing the AOT anime arcs. It got too scripted last chapter and I want to be a bit more creative. I will be loosely following the manga but I will include my own plot twists. This is a slow-burn feels fic. You have been warned!</p><p>Comment feedback! I love hearing from you.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Drinking Games</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The weeks turn into a month. It’s been a whole month since you’ve seen Mikasa and Armin, and you miss them dearly. You know they are safe within the walls but you don’t know what Eren has been up to. Eren hasn’t been himself lately and you almost didn’t recognize him when you saw him last in Liberio. </p><p>Eren no longer looked like the teenage boy you met at the Cadet Corps. When he emerged from his titan form, his eyes that were once vibrant and filled with hope, were cold and almost black. Eren had seen things in Marley, unspeakable things. </p><p>You shudder at the memory. Perhaps Mikasa and Armin had talked some sense into him by now. The three were inseparable, Siamese triplets if you will. </p><p>You stir the cloudy porridge contents in the wooden bowl. Military rations and gloomy porridge is all you have eaten in the past few weeks. </p><p><i> Is this the wonderful food we would be eating together, Sasha? </i> You think to yourself and force the contents down your throat. Food is food, and you’re not about to fuss about the questionable rations everyone has been eating. A full stomach beats an empty stomach any day. </p><p>“Feeling homesick?” Rico asks, taking a seat next to you. She brings the metal spoon to her mouth and groans in disgust. </p><p>“Aren’t we all?” You reply, stirring your porridge aimlessly. </p><p>“The things I would do for a drink right now.” Hugo sighs sitting across from you. </p><p>Rico and Hugo transferred regiments after the Shiganshina battle four years ago. Rico was a team leader in the Garrison. After her entire squad was annihilated in Trost, she decided to join the Scouts and put her stellar ODM skills to use beyond the walls. </p><p>Hugo was also a leader among the Garrison. When it was discovered that titans were not our foe but other Eldians were sent to “paradise”, Hugo joined the Survey Corp to end their suffering. There’s no reason to protect the Walls from titans if all the titans disappear. </p><p>“I could use a drink.” Rico shines a devilish smile. “In fact, I have some good news.” </p><p>Good news is rare. Rico has your full attention. </p><p>“What is it?” Hugo perks up. You could see the drool pool in his mouth. Hugo would do anything for a sip of hard liquor. In some ways, Hugo reminds you of Hannes and Gelgar. </p><p>“The other night I was taking inventory of our remaining supplies and I found a full crate of expensive military-grade whiskey from Marley,” Rico reveals, with a wicked glint in her eyes. </p><p>Excitement flows through your veins. You haven’t felt this lively since infiltrating Liberio. Weeks have gone by and Commander Hange remains radio silent. All the soldiers lack morale. Rico was given the task to travel back and forth from the forest and HQ and serve as our method of communication, but to no avail. Orders have not changed. Everyone could use some liquor to let loose and relax. </p><p>“I’m down. Let’s celebrate tonight!” Hugo cheers, a tad too enthusiastic. </p><p>“What about Captain Levi?” Your voice drops to a whisper. Levi hates when soldiers make a mess. Especially rowdy, drunk soldiers. </p><p>“I’m sure he will understand. Captain Levi knows that we have nothing to do until Commander Hange sends word.” Hugo assures, his eyes glimmer at the thought of alcohol entering his system.</p><p>“Plus, we have you on our side.” Rico winks. “You can ease the punishment Captain Levi orders later, I know he has a soft spot for you.” She cajoles while nudging your shoulder.</p><p>You scoff, “Rico, you need to get your glasses checked, your eyesight must be getting worse.” </p><p>“Oh please, I know all about your private ‘training sessions’ and the fact that you take a shower right after!” She teases. </p><p>At this, your face reddens. “No,” you speak slowly, not wanting to be misunderstood.  “It’s because he pushes me too hard and my muscles become sore” You raise your hands in defense. </p><p>Hugo grins with a wide smile. “Sounds a lot like u—” </p><p>Rico elbows him hard in the ribs, a blush rising to her face. “Anyway, are you in? </p><p>“Hell, yes. Let’s gather everyone after dinner.” You rise to your feet, wanting to end the conversation right away. While there was nothing between you and the Captain, Rico and Hugo sure had other ideas. </p><p>“See you later tonight!” Rico beams. She may have won this battle but you can question her plenty about Hugo once she’s drunk.</p>
<hr/><p>Hearing footsteps, you stir and sit upon the crate. Zeke lets out a small laugh. In the past few weeks, you had mastered the art of waking up on command to the slightest noise. While Zeke didn’t mind you lounging on the job, Levi would skin you alive. </p><p>Levi emerges from the trees, Hugo behind him. You jump off the crate and stretch your back, loosening a few knots.</p><p>“Hugo, take the Beast Titan to the pond to wash up.” Levi orders. Hugo’s face crumples to a frown. </p><p>“But, sir—” Hugo pleads.</p><p>“No buts, he smells like shit, and there’s an extent to how far I can lean away from him,” Levi grumbles. </p><p>“You know, I am right here.” Zeke counters. “And I am plenty capable of bathing by myself.” He shakes his head, he knows by now that Levi would never leave him alone without an armed soldier. </p><p>“Hugo, you heard your orders. You can ‘let loose’ once your duties are over.” Levi ignores Zeke’s words.</p><p>Hugo releases an annoyed sigh once Levi is out of earshot. He slumps to the base of a tree. </p><p>“I promised Rico I would help her move the crate of whiskey. I want to ask her something afterward.” A small blush covers his face. </p><p>“We can switch, I don’t mind taking Zeke to the pond,” you offer, squatting next to Hugo. </p><p>“Really?” Hugo raises his eyebrows. Before you can change your mind, he quickly agrees.“Thanks, I owe you one.” </p><p>“Don’t mention it. Let me grab my bathing supplies and you can pick up some clothes for Zeke after.” You answer. You have an important role to play after all: cupid. </p><p>Hugo nods and you run off to collect your bathing necessities. When you return, Hugo rushes back with a change of clothes. You have never seen him run so fast, even when titans were involved. </p><p>“See you later, make sure to save some—” you make a drinking gesture “—for me!”</p><p>Hugo winks, “You got it!” And hurries away. </p><p>You turn your attention to Zeke. He is lost in thought, reading his book. The sun descends behind Zeke, his features bask in soft golden light. A gentle wind brushes your nape and reminds you of your orders. </p><p>“Ready for a bath?” You ask Zeke, your words nudging him back to reality. </p><p>“Hmm, yes.” Zeke stands up, brushing away the dust on his lap. “Lead the way.” He towers over you. You have grown used to Zeke sitting and reading all the time. You forget how tall and handsome he is. </p><p><i>I guess they don’t call him a Beast for nothing, </i> you ponder with a sly smile. </p><p>You turn around and suppress the emotions bubbling in your chest. While the forest is a maze to Zeke, you lead the way with ease. You’ve been in the forest for so long, you could navigate through the woods with your eyes closed. </p><p>Once you reach the pond, you hand Zeke your bathing necessities. </p><p>“What’s this?” Zeke asks, perplexed by the little bottles containing your hair products.</p><p>“My bathing supplies. I figured you need more than just water to clean.” You respond with a twinkle in your eyes. </p><p>You toss your towel at Zeke without warning. His long fingers catch the towel, exuding years of pitching practice. </p><p>Zeke brings the towel to his face. Your rose and jasmine scent floods his nostrils. He could get drunk off your essence.  </p><p>“It’s clean! I just washed it.” You defend. “Anway, I will be over here, try not to stray too far or I will have to come get you and I’d rather not get wet.” </p><p>Zeke releases a snicker. “We’ll see about that.” He glances at your face and confirms that his innuendo went right over your head. He shrugs off his military jacket and begins to unbutton the white shirt underneath. </p><p>“I promise I won’t peek, just don’t take forever.” You drop to the mossy floor and seat yourself on a rock.</p><p>While you promised you wouldn’t snoop, you shut your eyes, allowing your other senses to work into overdrive. Your keen ears pick up his every move. You can hear Zeke unfasten his belt, unzip his pants, and discard his military boots. His movements are music to your ears. </p><p>When you hear Zeke enter the water, you lift your head and bring your attention to the pile of folded clothes. Zeke folded his laundry before he went in for a swim. <i> How unusual,</i> you presume. <i>His uniform must mean a lot to him. </i></p><p>The chilly pond air seeps into your skin causing you to tighten your sweatshirt around yourself. You’re thankful you remembered to grab it while picking up your bathing supplies. </p><p>A red cloth captures your attention, neatly folded on top of the pile of clothes. You hold the fabric in your hands. The cloth turns out to be an armband, a white star placed on the center. </p><p>Your empathy takes over as you imagine a young Zeke roaming about the streets of Liberio wearing the red armband with pride. The red armband must grant special privileges to the Eldians living in Marley. You wonder what his life must have been like, living as second class citizens in a corrupt society. </p><p>The sun disappears behind the clouds, replaced by a clear night sky. Zeke emerges from the water, the water dripping from his sculpted body.</p><p>“Honorary Marleyans'' Zeke's words bring you back to the pond. “The armband gave me a taste of freedom in Liberio.” </p><p>“Is this freedom?” You muse, your head still in the clouds. </p><p>Perched on the rock with your eyes lowered, Zeke gently grasps your hand, causing you to glance over his exposed form. Your towel is wrapped loosely around Zeke’s torso, waiting to be ripped off. </p><p>“I’d like to think it is,” Zeke alludes. </p><p>His toned body enthralls you. Zeke is ethereal, his rugged shoulders, his chiseled abdomen, the small patch of golden hair that trails below, teasing you to look. </p><p>You feel like Hugo at the thought of alcohol when saliva collects in your mouth. </p><p>Zeke takes in your scarlet face with delight. Even the blanket of darkness surrounding the pond won’t spare your blushed features. </p><p>Zeke brings your hand to his lips and places a soft kiss on your supple skin. His lips are hot, and you can feel the heat on your face spread to your ears. “Care to join me?” Zeke suggests in a promiscuous tone. Your breath hitches.</p><p>You cave in and lean into Zeke’s warmth. His long fingers grasp yours as he pulls you to your feet with ease. You can feel his other arm wrap around your waist, inching you closer. </p><p>Resting your head on his shoulders, you wrap your arms around his neck. His musk drowns you. Zeke is covered in your scent and a part of you is oddly satisfied. Somewhere in your mind, alarm bells are ringing. You should not be doing this, pursuing the enemy. But something about Zeke and his aura pull you in. Perhaps seducing Zeke wouldn’t be so bad. </p><p>His golden blues lock with yours as he caresses your cheek with a soft touch. You lift your face and bring it closer to Zeke. His luscious lips are a hair’s width away from yours. You close your eyes and anticipate the feeling of his mouth. </p><p>Without warning, a few soldiers enter the vicinity of the pond chattering away about the gathering tonight. You and Zeke are so mesmerized by each other that you fail to notice the people around you. A failure that could cost you everything. </p><p>Moving on pure instinct, Zeke whisks you away from the edge of the pond and back to the forest. He pulls the arm secured around your waist and cages you against a thick oak tree. Your eyes widen with shock. Never have you been so close with Zeke before. He locks his arms on either side of your face and peers into your eyes. </p><p>You spend an eternity lost in his icy blue eyes. Zeke is simply addicting. The urge to kiss him is far too strong, so you give in. Zeke holds your chin gently as you lean in for a kiss and he meets you halfway. His lips are sweet and melt onto yours. The sensation is intimate and you feel emotions blooming in your chest you have yet to name. </p><p>You splay your hands across his naked chest. You want more. More of his lips. His hands. His body. You don’t know what it is you feel for Zeke but you are bewitched. </p><p>When Zeke’s tongue licks your bottom lip, you don’t hesitate to open your mouth. His tongue slips in and tangles with yours. Adrenaline fills your veins. Zeke ventures and claims your mouth as his own. You are equal parts aroused and apprehensive at how easily his ministrations have you quivering. </p><p><i> I wonder if he can hear my heart beating. </i> Your first coherent thought since his lips met yours. Who knew your heart could beat so fast? </p><p>After the first few minutes, the rest of the world starts to disappear. You and Zeke are the only people in the forest. On the island. In the world.  </p><p>Zeke fills your senses. You can taste him on your tongue, feel him on your skin, smell your scent drift off him. It’s overwhelming. </p><p>You feel something hard hit your thigh and your eyes flutter open. You break the kiss and gasp for air. </p><p>“You should get dressed.” You purr, laying another forbidden kiss on his lips. With his knee wedged between your legs, an unmistakable throb slips through your control. </p><p>Zeke smirks. “Dressed or undressed?” He sees the conflict in your eyes. Your body wants one thing but your mind, another. </p><p>“Dressed.” You falter, you want his body on yours. Your eyes are lidded with lust, but you manage to hold back. </p><p>Zeke pulls back and gathers the clean clothes. He knows how much you want him but he won’t act until you acknowledge your feelings first. </p><p>Leaving you a blushing, trembling mess, Zeke gets dressed. He slips on a forest green sweater and dark slacks, the standard out-of-uniform attire for the Survey Corps. </p><p>“How do I look?” Zeke asks, striking a pose. He places his arms on his hips and adds a wink to complete the look.</p><p>The sight takes you aback. After seeing him nearly naked, you didn’t think Zeke could surprise you, but he continues to prove you wrong. The sweater hugs him in all the right places and accentuates his muscular build. When Zeke wears his Marley uniform, he sticks out like a sore thumb. But Zeke in comfortable clothes fits right in, he could pass as another soldier.</p><p>“Surprisingly normal.” You note, a small smile covers your face. </p><p>Your eyes glaze up with a tang of sadness. You dwell on what could have been. If only Zeke was not the enemy, the Beast Titan, or from Marley. If only Zeke was from within the Walls and a normal Scout. You could have fallen in love and began a relationship without an imminent deadline. You know your fling with Zeke won’t last long and the realization is daunting. </p><p>You turn around before Zeke can catch onto your sudden mood swing. You’ve been getting them a lot recently. You begin to walk back to the campsite, Zeke following closeby. </p><p>“So, what was Hugo so thrilled about?” Zeke asks.</p><p>“Rico found a crate of stolen whiskey from Marley, so we’re all letting loose tonight.” You spur. The reignited excitement brings a hop to your step. </p><p>“Ah, I see.” A flash of regret passes through Zeke’s eyes, something you miss as you’re skipping about. “You won’t be drinking, right?” he prys. </p><p>“Of course, I will be. I have been looking forward to this all day.” Excitement pours through your words. </p><p>“You don’t seem like a drinker,” Zeke observes out loud, running a hand through his hair. </p><p>“I can handle my liquor just fine,” you joke. “I’m no lightweight.” The clear night sky now littered with thousands of stars, guiding you through the forest. </p><p>Zeke watches your graceful movements as you lead the way back. Despite having numerous weapons strapped to your body, you walk with elegance and purpose. The unwavering hope in your eyes reminds Zeke of his younger self. How he wishes he could save you. </p><p>You take a seat on a log adjacent to several crates as Zeke lights the campfire. The bonfire illuminates the surroundings in a gentle glow. </p><p>“Why is it that Levi is only comfortable leaving me alone with you. Usually, I am guarded by pairs of soldiers.” Zeke probes. He is filled with questions today. Hopefully, he won’t ask about the encounter in the woods earlier. Just thinking about it makes you throb for more. </p><p>“I’ve been on Levi’s squad for a few years now. Levi trains me personally to make sure I meet his standards.” You answer as you lean back on your arms and lift your face to see the stars. </p><p>“So, you’re the only one he trusts?” Zeke presumes. </p><p>“Not the only one, the rest of Levi’s squad are within the Walls dealing with Eren. He trusts the soldiers here plenty,” you dismiss with a wave of your hand. </p><p>It feels weird talking about Levi with Zeke. In your early days in the Scouts, you had fallen for Levi and his stoic yet thoughtful persona. He’s humanity’s strongest but so much more. </p><p>When Levi showed you no interest, you buried your feelings deep inside your chest. You didn’t want your meaningless emotions to get between Levi and your duty to the Scouts. Levi was just an old crush. The Survey Corps is your life’s purpose.</p><p>Levi went out of his way to train you in his spare time, chastising you at every opportunity. Every now and then, he would look at you in a certain way or set aside some tea for you, his small actions would make your heart flutter. Perhaps you can never forget your first love. </p><p>But with Zeke, it was different. He responded to your coy gestures with his own. Zeke is charismatic, he has a sarcastic remark ready for any of your quips. Thinking about his heated lips on yours made you tingle. You brush your dirty thoughts aside. </p><p>“There you are!” Rico slurs with an arm wrapped around Hugo’s shoulders. </p><p>Hugo bumps into a crate and staggers. “Where have you been? We’ve been looking all over for you, “ he rambles. His bicep curled around Rico’s waist. Things must have gone well between them. </p><p>“Where else would I be?” You pester with a smirk. You were with Zeke in the area of the forest where he resided. They must have gotten… distracted.</p><p>“I have a little something for you.” Rico winks and pulls out an unopened bottle of whiskey. She places the bottle on your lap and sways back to Hugo. </p><p>“Wait, where are you guys-” You ask as they turn to leave. Rico quiets you with a wave of her hand as she walks deeper into the tresses of the forest, Hugo bundled around her. Already they were inseparable. </p><p>“Guess you’re stuck with me,” Zeke pipes.</p><p>“I’m always stuck with you,” You retort as you roll your eyes. You hold up the bottle, “You want some?”</p><p>“That liquor is watered down,” Zeke leans forward and places his elbows on his knees. “You would have to drink bottles of that stuff to be as drunk as your friends.” </p><p>“They’re drunker on love than intoxicated, but to each their own.” You shrug your shoulders and smile. </p><p>“Forget the whiskey, I’d love to share a drink with you in Liberio’s speakeasy.” Zeke confides. </p><p>“Speakeasy?” You perk up with interest. </p><p>“A secret place where Eldians can drink, socialize, and dance.” Zeke describes, with a faraway look in his eyes. </p><p>“Sounds luxurious.” You look down at the bottle of whiskey. “Do you miss Liberio sometimes?” </p><p>“I miss my family, but that’s about it. I don’t miss being treated subhuman or a pawn to the Marleyans.” His honesty is refreshing. You have grown used to everyone from Marley regarding you as "Island Devils". Even the girl who shot Sasha showed no pity for killing another human being. In her eyes, she just 'cleansed' the world of another devil. Zeke was the only person who could see through Marley's facade and deeply rooted brainwashing.</p><p>“You’re going to regret drinking that in the morning,” Zeke notes quietly. It’s sweet, how worried he is over your future hangover.</p><p>“I’ll be fine. If you don’t want any, then more for me.” You remove the stopper and take a sniff. The phenolic scent is sharp and stinging. You gag before you take a second breath. Whatever the Marley military officers were drinking, it is disgusting. </p><p>Zeke motions to remove the bottle from your hands, but a shout stops him in his tracks. </p><p>“Oi, what do you think you’re doing?” A familiar voice behind you commands. Levi stands a few feet away with his arms crossed. </p><p>There’s a bottle of whiskey in your hands when you’re supposed to be guarding Zeke. You know how bad it looks. Yet, you can’t help but feel upset when Levi jumps to conclusions. </p><p>Levi snatches the bottle from your hands, “Drinking on the job?” He sneers. His accusatory tone has you seething. Despite not indulging in a single sip, Levi assumes the worst. In one swift move, he flings the bottle behind his shoulder and it smashes into a thousand pieces against a tree trunk. </p><p>“I didn’t even drink a drop!” You exclaim, a frown covers your face. Amidst your wrath, you miss Zeke sigh in relief. </p><p>“Is that any way to speak to your Captain?” Levi deadpans. </p><p>“You wasted whiskey.” Your eyes narrow into a scowl.</p><p>“I saved you from a hangover.” Levi hands you a thermos, warm against your icy fingers. “Drink this instead.” </p><p>You unscrew the lid and take a whiff. The sweet fragrance of black tea with a splash of milk enters your nostrils. </p><p>With your eyes closed, you take a long sip and hum, the tea is just the way you like it. The gesture dissipates any lingering anger. </p><p>“Thank you, Captain,” you spout. You return to your spot on the log and savor the tea. </p><p>As the night drags on, your heavy eyelids prevent you from staying awake. </p><p>“Go to sleep, I will watch the Beast Titan for the rest of the night.” Levi orders. </p><p>You nod your head and sleepwalk to your tent at the edge of the forest. In the distance, you can hear soldiers sing and brawl late into the hours of the night. </p><p>Setting your head on a cool pillow, you begin to drift off. Your mind reviews the day’s events and you surge off your cot. </p><p> <i>Did that really happen? </i> </p><p>You place your nimble fingers on your lips and remember Zeke sucking on them hours before. </p><p><i>I might just fall for you.</i> You consider as the symphony of owl hoots and field crickets lull you to sleep.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Hii</p><p>I know I said it was a slow burn fic but I gave in to the Zeke mania. Can you blame me? He's just too damn hot. More action to come in the next chapter. (Manga readers know!) </p><p>If you enjoyed the fic, leave a comment below. I love reading them.</p><p>Enjoy Zeke/Reader? Give my other work a try: Subhuman.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Get Out</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The sunlight cascades through the trees and hits your closed eyes. The warmth shifts you awake, and you stir on the crate. The crate feels comfier than usual. The stiff wood must be growing on you. Your eyelids flutter open, and you notice that your head is not on the wooden chest but Zeke’s lap. He must have slipped underneath you in your sleep. </p><p>“Up already?” He hums. You nod and rub the sleep out of your eyes. The sweet gesture brings butterflies to your stomach. This is not the first time you have woken up on his lap, and if things continue, it certainly won’t be the last. </p><p>You slide onto your knees and stretch out your arms. Switching from the afternoon shift to the evening shift may have been the best decision you have ever made. Fewer soldiers surround the vicinity of the forest where Zeke resides. Levi trusts you enough to leave you alone with Zeke. You take full advantage of the arrangement. </p><p>Zeke lowers his head and places a gentle kiss on your lips. His soft beard grazes your chin. </p><p>“Have any dreams?” Zeke muses. Since spending every evening with Zeke, you revealed to him the vivid nightmares you would often experience. </p><p>Sometimes you see Mikasa recklessly going after to save Eren only to be met with a rain of bullets that are too fast for her to dodge. Or Armin delimbed, rendered defenseless, and eaten alive by the next Warrior Candidate. </p><p>Sometimes you relive Sasha’s death. You remain paralyzed on the blimp and watch over and over again as the young girl shoots bullets into her lifeless body. The usual Survey Corps trauma. </p><p>However, in light of recent events, nightmares no longer plague your sleep. In fact, you haven't had any dreams as of late. You would drift asleep as soon as your head touched the crate and awakened refreshed. </p><p>“Thankfully, I haven’t.” You lean into another kiss. <i> It may be because I fall asleep and wake up with you by my side. </i> Your mind whispers the truth you’re not ready to say out loud. </p><p>The last few days are bliss-filled. You and Zeke watch the sunsets together, share bittersweet memories, and spend time in each other’s company.</p><p>You exchange stories of the Scouts for bits and pieces of his shattered past. His crimes haunt him. Whenever Zeke closes his eyes, he can see the people he is personally responsible for their deaths. </p><p>Sometimes, he can see his parents, or Grice, the leader of the Restorationists. Other times, he can see the Scouts in the various battles who had the misfortune of encountering him in his titan form. He remembers the sturdy blonde who led the charge in Shiganshina four years ago. Erwin, you revealed to him. </p><p>Empathy works in weird ways. While you don’t condone what Zeke has done, you can understand that he had no other choice. If he hadn’t snitched on his parents and the Restorationists, he would have been sent to Paradis as a mindless titan. If he spared the Scouts in Shiganshina, the Marleyan brass would order the next Beast Titan inheritor to eat him. Zeke had no choice. </p><p>Instead of mulling over his crimes, Zeke carries on the mission of those who passed. Zeke continues the Restorationists' mission. He has every intention of freeing Eldians from the century-long resentment. </p><p>For someone so broken and battered, Zeke sure does not show it. He must be an expert at hiding his emotions. </p><p>On multiple occasions, you have fallen asleep on a crate with Zeke beside you. Now and then he would place your head on his lap. When you would wake up to the sun setting, he would claim that you looked uncomfortable or that the sun was in your eyes. Excuses, and you saw right through them. </p><p>You would catch him on his lap, memorizing your features. When he noticed you were awake, he would pretend to be reading again. The response made your heart swoon. Perhaps, you weren’t the only one falling.</p><p>Zeke runs a hand through your silky hair, slightly disheveled from your nap. His eyes soften when they meet yours. </p><p>“I remember when I first met you. In the aftermath of Shiganshina.” His words bring you to the battle four years ago. You trace his wiry fingers on your lap as you recall the battle.</p><p>“Yeah, when Levi chased you down all the way from Shiganshina to inside Wall Maria.” You smirk. </p><p>“Levi scared me shitless. I called it a draw, but I thought I was going to die. Pieck saved my ass.” Zeke laughs. </p><p>It’s uplifting, how you can openly talk about your trauma and crack jokes. You feel one step closer to closure, something you thought you could never find. </p><p>“I was planning on taking Eren with me but you showed up,” he gazes into the distance, “with a blade to Bertolt’s neck.” </p><p>That day was a series of unfortunate events. Some parts you’re still not over. You were the one responsible for Bertolt’s death. While he was the Colossus who broke into Shiganshina, inciting endless bloodshed, you knew him as the gentle giant in the Cadet Corps. A soldier with a promising future in the Survey Corps. For a few months, he had your back, and you had his until everything went to hell. </p><p>You hug your knees close to your chest. You wish things were different. </p><p>“Besides Levi, I had never seen another soldier survive after engaging against a titan shifter like that.” Zeke continues. Your head perks up from resting on your arms. </p><p>“Was it love at first sight?” You tease, a small smile plastered on your face.</p><p>“Perhaps. I haven't stopped thinking of you since. You threatened not one but two titan shifters with just blunt blades.” He whispers, bringing one of your hands to his chest. “Couldn’t tell if you were reckless or brave.” </p><p>“I was careless, but I couldn't let you steal Eren away without a fight. Levi would have my ass kicked out of the Survey Corps.” You smile as you look at your hand splayed on his chest. </p><p>"To be honest, I didn’t think I would make it.” You admit with a sigh. Zeke returns a stray wisp of your hair behind your ear. </p><p>“Guess we were both close to death that day.” He says softly. </p><p>For the first time in a long time, you take in the beauty that surrounds you. The rose gold clouds shifting ever so slightly. The gentle summer breeze, teasing your hair into knots. And Zeke, who pulls you close and nestles his head in the crevice of your neck.</p>
<hr/><p>Looking out in the distance, hundreds of meters above the forest floor, you spot a speck of dark blond hair on a brown mare charging towards the forest at an alarming speed. </p><p>“Rico’s here!” You shout and flail your arms to catch the attention of Levi and Hugo, situated near Zeke. </p><p>You hop off the branch, diving face-first into the forest floor. The wind whips your face. At the last moment, you sink your anchors into a nearby trunk, leaving you suspended inches off the ground. The rush of adrenaline is just what you need to face the news Rico bears. </p><p>By the time Rico arrives, you have a canteen of cool water ready for her. You sit on a branch not far from the ground, with your legs dangling off the edge. Rico's hair is tousled, and there is dirt smudged on her black uniform. <i>As if she were running away from someone. </i></p><p>Rico lines her gear and sinks the anchors into a nearby branch. Shifting her weight, she glides up the tree and lands next to you. Rico stretches her limbs and rests her head against the trunk. </p><p>“Are you okay?” You ask as you hand her the canteen. Rico nods her head and takes a long sip of water. </p><p>Hugo hurries over after feeding her horse. “What happened?” Worry covers his face. He hadn’t been sleeping since Rico left two nights ago. </p><p>“Eren escaped, and the Yeagerists seized control of the Walls. Commander Hange and the rest of the Scouts have been imprisoned.” Rico reveals, her voice weary and out of breath.</p><p>“What?!” You squeal, your mouth opens in surprise. While you suspected something was wrong when Hange’s orders did not change, you had not anticipated a full coup. </p><p>“If Eren no longer has the interests of the Scouts and humanity, we should find someone who does and have them inherit the Attack and Founding Titans.” Hugo surmises. </p><p>Eren has always been defiant and rambunctious but never has he acted out against the Scouts. The news is overwhelming. You were prepared to move out of the forest and rendezvous with the rest of the Scouts at HQ, and formulate a new course of action. Nothing close to this. </p><p>“Aren’t we jumping to conclusions?” You rationalize. “Commander Hange always has a plan.” </p><p>“You may be right, but…” Rico shakes her head, her dark blond hair swaying with her. “There’s a limit to how long we can stay in the forest and prevent Eren from scheming with Zeke. We don’t know what could happen then.” </p><p>“We don’t know what Eren was up to in the weeks leading up to the Liberio raid,” Hugo adds, feeding to the frenzy. “Eren may already be under Zeke’s control.” </p><p>“They haven’t been in contact for weeks. How can that be?” You try and reason. Yet, the fear in Hugo’s eyes consumes him. His eyebrows knit together, his eyes tense. You know the tell-tale signs, you’ve seen it hundreds of times before. </p><p>“That doesn’t matter. We shouldn’t wait for the worst to happen.” Hugo retorts, his arms crossed over his chest. </p><p>Things have gone out of control within the Walls. The peaceful weeks in the forest had made you forget the calamity outside. You peer over at Levi, standing on a branch across from you, deep in thought. A sadness flickers in his eyes, and it disappears as soon as it arises. His stoic demeanor replaces his previous hesitation.</p><p>Levi steps in, “If there is one titan shifter who is going to be eaten alive, it’s going to be the shitty monkey.” Levi must not want Eren to get eaten. Not after all of the people he lost to get Eren back. His grey eyes scan the area below for Zeke. They narrow once he catches sight of him. </p><p>Levi turns his head to Rico. “Bring word to Commander Pyxis. There will be a new Beast Titan inheritor.” </p><p>“Captain Levi, who would we even choose?” Your eyes glisten, but you refuse any tears slip.  </p><p>Levi takes your anxious face as fear of being the next inheritor. In reality, you are worried about ending Zeke’s already diminished life. You don’t want his fate sealed. You want to buy Zeke as much time as he has left.</p><p>You try to swallow, but it gets caught in a lump in your throat. You recount the past few days. You and Zeke have been stealing kisses whenever you are given a moment alone. </p><p>You don’t want to give that up. You’ve barely gotten a taste. </p><p>“We can ask for a volunteer or draw sticks.” He shrugs nonchalantly. “Rico, you heard your orders.”</p><p>“Understood, Captain.” Rico salutes and drops to a mossy patch and grabs the reins of her horse. Levi leaps off his branch and lands square on his feet. He strides over to Zeke, who is reading, as per usual. </p><p>Hugo runs a hand through his hair. Rico just got back, and now she is being sent on another mission. He doesn’t want her to leave any more than you do. </p><p>You swoop down after Rico and pull her to a warm embrace. She reciprocates and tightens around your waist. Who knows when you’ll see her next?</p><p>“Look after Hugo for me, okay?” She breathes into your ear. You nod your head. </p><p>“Of course. See you soon, Rico,” You murmur before following Levi. Saying goodbye was too disheartening for your taste. You settle for a simple farewell in hopes of seeing her again. Praying for her safe return, Rico jumps on the saddle of her mare. </p><p>Hugo wraps his arms around her hips. “Be careful out there.” He whispers and kisses her hand in his grasp. Rico gazes down at Hugo with a fond look.</p><p>“You know I always am,” she hums back. With that, Rico turns her horse and canters towards Shiganshina, the military headquarters where Commander Pyxis is located.  </p><p>You have another mission: to persuade Levi into a plan that doesn’t involve Zeke getting eaten alive. </p><p>“Oi, shitty beard. Enjoying your book?” Levi drawls. Their conversation snaps your attention, the animosity already brewing. </p><p>“Yes, for a book I have read seven times,” Zeke responds evenly, as he flips through the pages. </p><p>“It must have been difficult reading when your attention was on our conversation.” Levi continues in a cold voice. </p><p>“Not at all,” Zeke answers with a grim expression. “Is there any whiskey left?” His eyes dart to the crates holding supplies. </p><p>“We’ve been here for over a damn month.” Levi deadpans. “There’s not a drop left.” He glares. </p><p>“What a pity.” Zeke counters. He continues reading the book where he left off. You saunter over to Levi with a puzzled look. Zeke showed no interest in the whiskey before. </p><p><i>Why would he suddenly want whiskey? </i>You try to piece together the details in front of you. </p><p>“Soon, there won’t be a reason for a hostage to have limbs,” Levi warns under his breath. </p><p>“Keep reading.” Levi leaves you alone with Zeke. </p><p>Once he’s disappeared into the forest, you finally ask, “What did you mean-” You don’t have the chance to finish when Zeke cuts you off.</p><p>“I wouldn’t stand right there if I were you.” Zeke sighs, regret covers his face.  </p><p>“What?” You turn around. Hugo is perched upon the tree behind you. Fully armed soldiers decorate the nearby trees. Nothing seems to be out of the ordinary. </p><p>Zeke clears his throat and releases an enraged shout. The sudden sound frightens you. You nearly jump out of your skin in shock. When you look back at Zeke, his hand is held out and open, awaiting yours. </p><p>“Come with me,” he urges. His words fall on deaf ears as several explosions take place, followed by small bursts of lightning. The noise is eerily familiar. You’ve heard the sound far too many times before Eren or Armin transform. </p><p>You turn your head again and witness an abomination. The scene is straight from your nightmares, titans falling from the sky. Numerous thuds accompanied by soft wailing. Voices that sound human at first. Then rise to a collection of screams.</p><p>When Hange asked you all those years ago, <i> “Where do you think titans come from?”</i></p><p>You joked and said, <i> “They must come from the sky,” </i></p><p>Only before you is reality. What a horrific self-fulfilling prophecy. You can only imagine how Hange would react to the sight. </p><p>The quiet forest fills with massive, man-eating titans, a sight you hadn’t seen in months. Goosebumps crawl up your skin. The titans share an uncanny resemblance to the soldiers you had spent the last few weeks with-</p><p>You freeze up in fear. You gaze at each of the titan's faces and memories of their time in the Survey Corps wash over you. Time stops. These soldiers were with you on the night the Scouts infiltrated Liberio. Some of them even went to Sasha’s funeral service. Your breaths are shallow, and you feel light-headed. You hyperventilate as the bitter truth comes to light.  </p><p>The soldiers you knew have all but disappeared, replaced by towering monsters with an insatiable hunger. Drool dribbled out of their mouths as they make their way towards you. Your entire body shudders with rage.</p><p>“What did you do?!” you shriek. Thousands of emotions are written all over your face. Your angry fists pound Zeke’s chest. </p><p>Levi calls your name but you can’t hear a thing. The voices drowned out by the commotion. In a single moment, Zeke turned thirty competent soldiers into mindless monsters. </p><p>A titan Hugo creeps up to you. His face is full of glee as he gets closer. You remember how delighted he was when he finally confessed to Rico- </p><p><i> No. Not Hugo. What am I going to tell Rico if I get out of this? </i> Your heart sinks. </p><p>Zeke does nothing to quell your fury and frustration. Instead, he grabs your clenched fists in one hand and holds your chin, pulling your face to his. </p><p>“Come. With. Me.” Zeke repeats slowly, enunciating each word. You shake your head, your mind attempting to wrap around what just happened. You want to turn back time and restart this day. You want to make sense of what went wrong. Zeke hauls you away from the mess. </p><p>You haven’t seen pure titans in months, seeing them now, reincarnated as your fellow Scouts, makes your blood run cold. There is no method of reversing pure titans back to their human form unless they eat a titan shifter. You look down at your trembling fingers. You’re not sure if you can slay your fellow soldiers. </p><p>“Let go of me.” You don’t recognize your hostile voice. Quaking with fear of the monster before you, you pull away from Zeke. His grasp was anything but welcoming. Not after the crime he just committed. Another atrocity to add to his endless list. </p><p>“This is for the best.” Zeke declares, oblivious to his freshest crime. His usual bright eyes have an unrecognizable glint in them.</p><p>Suddenly, the whiskey flashes in your mind. You remember that Zeke confirmed there wasn’t a drop of whiskey left. You remember the way Zeke went to great lengths to ensure you wouldn’t drink a drop. The realization comes crashing on you. It was a setup and he knew all along. </p><p>“Follow me if you want to live.” He advises in a hollow voice. This was not the man you had come to know in the past few weeks. The man before you was someone completely different. Gone was the man you slowly opened yourself to. </p><p>Wrenching your wrists from Zeke’s iron grip, you stand your ground. You are not a compliant ragdoll for Zeke to order around. You did not go through all those years of training, fighting for humanity, losing the people you loved the most only to have your autonomy stolen. </p><p>“I will do no such thing.” you spit. </p><p>You release all of your anger on a single slap across Zeke’s face. His right cheek blazes red and steam appears, his new wound already healing. </p><p>“Sick bastard,” you curse. Fury bubbles through the golden blue eyes you had come to love. </p><p>You try and revert to your impassive self, the persona you claimed before you reached the forest. But days of opening up to Zeke have stolen your ability to be superficial to him. </p><p>An unmistakable sob escapes your lips and washes away the anger present in Zeke’s face. Your feelings for him are still there, but you choose to ignore them. </p><p>You turn around and watch as your fellow soldiers lunge after Levi in a deadly trance. They stand no chance against humanity’s strongest. Regret flashed in his eyes. Levi doesn’t want to do this anymore than you do. You decide then and there. You won’t let Levi burden this alone. </p><p>You rush into the massacre and carve the napes off as many titans as you can. With each slice, memories of each soldier flood into your mind. This must be the cruelest thing you’ve ever done. </p><p>Blood splatters all over your uniform. Some of it gets on your face. You’re not sure if it’s your own or titan blood until it begins to disintegrate away. You land on a tall branch and close your eyes for a second and contemplate the best course of action. </p><p>While you may be fighting alongside Levi, these are no mere pure titans. They possess intelligence, which makes them unpredictable: they might as well be a horde of abnormals. You opt to use the thunder spears secured on your back. You would rather give them a quick death over slicing them into ribbons. </p><p>“Don’t waste your thunder spears.” Levi snarls. He lands on your branch and quickly exchanges his blades for a fresh set. </p><p>“Captain, I-” You begin, shaking your head. Your throat tightens, proving it difficult to speak. You look down at your hands, covered in titan blood slowly dissolving away. You can’t help but blame yourself for their deaths. You remember Connie’s mother, alive and well, but in titan form. </p><p>“Stop. Now is not the time to hesitate.” Levi grabs your shoulders. “Survive, and we’ll make sense of it later. We can’t let the Beast Titan escape.” His words ignite a new sense of purpose in your heart. You will not let Zeke get away without knowing his motives. </p><p>You nod your head reluctantly. You wish things didn’t have to be this way. You leap off the branch and draw two new blades from your holsters. </p><p>Zeke watches you rush into a battle that may as well be your last. He sees the tears well up in your eyes as you grit your teeth and hold them back. You swing into action, propelled by all the different emotions you feel blaze in your chest. Grief. Regret. Betrayal. You swallow your emotions and engage in full force. </p><p>You refuse to let yourself process the emotions. You swing from tree to tree, the loud thud of the napes of the titans you slay is the only noise in the forest. A tear escapes you and glides down your cheek, yet you continue the endless carnage. Kill or be killed, that’s how it has always been. </p><p>Levi spirals from nape to nape, cutting off the large chunks of flesh. Upon seeing your delicate features harden, he winces. He wishes you didn't have to go through this. Levi understands the pain. The burden of having to slaughter your own comrades. </p><p>“Come on, Levi, your soldiers haven’t done anything wrong.” Zeke taunts somewhere in the forest. </p><p>“They’ve simply grown bigger.” His voice is distant and distorted.</p><p>Levi cuts off the napes of countless subordinates. He blames himself for not seeing this coming. He should have known Zeke was up to something. Levi strikes at the nape with a calculated force that knocks the vital flesh meters from the titan. Brutal and efficient. His body goes on autopilot, mindlessly slaying his subordinates, even in their titan form he could still recognize. </p><p>Memories overwhelm his senses. Levi is no longer in the bloodbath in the forest but back within the walls. </p><p>Another long day full of tedious meetings. Hange explained the plan to infiltrate Marley and introduced him to a new squad. Thirty of the best soldiers the Survey Corps has to offer. </p><p>The new squad greeted Levi with warm smiles and welcoming salutes. Hange wrapped their hands around your shoulders, causing you to blush. </p><p>“Take good care of this one!” Hange ruffled your hair. </p><p>“How can I forget about the only brat from your squad who managed to survive Shiganshina?” Levi mocked, shaking his head. </p><p>“Survived and took out the Colossus,” you add, a mischievous smile splayed across your face. You straightened your back and salute. Levi is your superior, after all. </p><p>Levi smirks at your response. <i> Mouthy brat. </i> A woman with short blond hair and round glasses hooked her arm around your waist. “Don’t mind her. She’s too cocky to be useful on the battlefield.” </p><p>“You’ve got that right.” A round, brown-haired man added. “And troublesome too.” He rested his arm on your shoulder. </p><p>“Gee, thanks, guys.” You rolled your eyes. Rico and Hugo always managed to embarrass you, one way or another, that is if you hadn’t embarrassed yourself already. </p><p>“Rico! Hugo! Have you already met Levi?” Hange asked, with a grin. They shook their heads. While they had heard rumors about Levi’s distinguished history in the Scouts, they never had the pleasure of meeting the living legend themselves. </p><p>“Perfect! Let me introduce you guys!” Hange beamed. “Levi, this is Rico,” Hange gestured to the woman with the glasses, “and Hugo, they transferred from the Garrison a few years back,” Hange motioned to the round brunette. </p><p>“We might not have as high of a titan kill count, but we are determined to be useful!” Hugo saluted. “We’re bound to find the truth and ensure the safety of humanity.” </p><p>“Hugo, your fly is down.” You teased.</p><p>“What! How-” Crimson seeped through his cheeks. He peered down at his trousers only to remember that he was wearing his uniform that does not have zippers. Hugo’s jaw dropped in betrayal as Rico laughed.  </p><p>“Pleasure to have you all on the squad,” Levi tutted. </p><p>The flashback ends as Levi lands on the familiar brunette, now in titan form. </p><p><i>Hugo. </i> Hugo lunges forwards, only to give Levi better access to his nape. </p><p>
  <i> I will make it so you won’t feel a thing. </i>
</p><p>Levi spins his fresh blades to build momentum. He releases his anchors from Hugo’s shoulder. Levi shifts his weight at an angle and plunges his blades into the flesh of his nape. He uses the force to swing down and make a clean cut. Hugo is gone before his titan body hits the soft forest floor. Quick and painless, just as Levi promised. </p><p>In the corner of your eye, you see Hugo’s eyes close as he descends below. Your knees buckle and you lose balance midair. It wasn’t supposed to be like this. Hugo was the responsible older brother you never had. His last moments did not have to be as a mindless, ravenous titan. Hugo didn’t deserve to die as a titan. The word deserve has lost its meaning in this world. </p><p>With a dozen titans remaining, Zeke commands Levi’s greatest fear. He does not have to turn to see the leftover hungry titans pounce towards you with full force. </p><p>A titan jumps at you from the trees, hidden yet lethal, unhinging its jaws at you. Darkness smothers you, and the titan below swallows your body whole.  </p><p>Your vision turns black, and the world becomes silent. </p><p>“<b>Get her.</b>” Zeke demanded.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Hii</p><p>We are back to the slow burn enemies to lovers! Hope you enjoy the cliffhanger :))</p><p>If you enjoyed the fic, leave a comment below. I love reading them.</p><p><span class="u"> Chapter 137 Spoiler</span>: It's difficult being a widow at nineteen. All I know is pain ;--;</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Berserk</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>You land hard on a calloused surface covered in slime. A blanket of darkness surrounds the humid cavern. You squint to make out the dark figures in the corner of your eyes but to no avail. You cannot even see your trembling fingers inches away from your face. </p><p>A dull ache blooms from your right shoulder. You take your fingers and rub the battered patch of skin in soothing circles. </p><p>The stench is rotten and pungent, stinging your eyes. You blink back tears and pull up the collar of your uniform to your nose to serve as a makeshift mask. Disoriented by the series of events, you take a deep breath and collect your thoughts. </p><p>Then you remember where you are. Inside a titan’s mouth. Your legs shake with fear. Paranoia threatens to consume you. This is the last sight many Scouts have seen moments before death. </p><p> <i> Is this how it ends? </i> A small voice inside your head whispers. You knew joining the Survey Corps warrants an early death… you just hadn’t expected it to be so soon. </p><p>Yet the titan makes no moves to swallow you. Instead, it keeps you secured on the tip of its tongue. </p><p>The titan begins to move, leaping off the branch you were last seen. The sudden movement and slime lurch you deeper in its mouth. You plunge your anchors into its tongue to keep from slipping further. </p><p>While titans have no digestive tract, you’d rather not find out what happens once you reach its stomach alive. You pat down your body. You seem to have all of your limbs and gear in place. Besides your throbbing shoulder, you hadn’t sustained any other injuries. </p><p>You’re not sure if the ODM gear is functional but you’ll be damned if you don’t try. </p><p>Then you remember why you’re in the titan’s mouth in the first place. Zeke. He ordered the titans to eat you and succeeded. Newfound anger bubbles in your chest. </p><p>Clenching your fists, you decide then and there. Zeke isn’t leaving the forest until you’ve discovered his true motives.  </p><p>But how do you escape the belly of the beast? </p><p> Through its mouth. </p><p> You need to injure the titan in a way that ensures the titan will open its mouth. From there, you can use ODM gear to land on the closest tree and escape. </p><p>Carefully, you shift your body closer to where you believe the titan’s teeth are. Your hand freezes once you hit a cool calcium wall. Titan teeth are sharp around the edges, so you make sure to not stray from the center. </p><p>Titans may have impressive regeneration abilities but they are not immune to pain. They feel every slice, every cut. You murmur a silent apology before tracing the fleshy gums just below its massive incisors.</p><p>Your bruised shoulder proves it to be difficult to move at your usual speed. Gritting your teeth, you lift the blade above your head and plunge it deep inside the gums of the titan. The tongue beneath you rumbles, the walls of the mouth around you shake. The titan elicits a loud wail. </p><p>You pray your anchors are functional enough not to let go. When you pull out the blade, a pool of blood gushes out. The titan unhinges its jaws in agony, releasing another anguished scream. </p><p>The piercing noise reverberates inside your skull. Dizzy and disoriented, you fall back on its tongue. It takes you a few seconds to get back up and maintain your balance. </p><p>You recoil your anchors and move to leap out of its mouth. The view bordered with sharp teeth is filled with dozens of trees and empty mossy floor hundreds of meters below. </p><p>You were surrounded by steaming piles of titan flesh just moments before. There hasn’t been enough time for all the titan bodies to disintegrate. This titan is far too calculating, unlike any titan you’ve met before. </p><p>Despite the deep gash in its mouth, the titan continues swinging from tree to tree through an unmarked path in the forest. Not stopping to heal from its injuries. <i> How strange</i>, you think, running a hand through your hair. </p><p>You hesitate to leave its mouth. Wherever the titan was taking you, there’s a good chance it was to Zeke. You could use the titan as a decoy to get to Zeke in the forest and confront him for answers. </p><p>All too soon, the titan begins to clamp its mouth shut. Escaping now would be too risky. You don’t know where Zeke is and Levi must be eons behind, busy with the remaining titans. </p><p>This may be your last chance to stop Zeke from leaving the forest. </p><p>You reluctantly watch as the titan closes its mouth until only a small slit of light passes through. When the darkness returns, so does the despair to your nerves. </p><p>Your ears pick up the whir of ODM gear, but you dismiss it as a figment of your imagination. Levi couldn’t have slaughtered the remaining abnormals in a matter of minutes. Even someone of his caliber would take longer.</p><p>Feeling a tremor from the left side of the titan’s jaw, you move to sit down on one of the many craters on the tongue. Might as well get comfortable. You don’t know how far away Zeke is. </p><p>You close your eyes and try to pretend you’re anywhere but here. You go through the events of the last hour and make sense of the horrors. </p><p>Ragako Village flashes in your mind. Connie’s hometown, located on the outskirts of Wall Rose. Levi interrogated Zeke about it in the first week and Zeke revealed that it was some sort of trial. </p><p>The Marleyan Military wanted to experiment with Zeke’s abilities and test the Eldians within the Walls. They unleashed large gas canisters that contained Zeke’s spinal fluid in Ragako. As soon as the gas was ingested, the villagers turned into a horde of Pure Titans and wreaked havoc within Wall Rose.</p><p>There was no gas in the forest before the Scouts all turned into titans. The answer had to be in the Marleyan whiskey that everyone drank. <i> But how? </i> </p><p>The reports stated that the villagers turned into titans immediately after the gas entered their system. You rub your temples and deliberate the answer. </p><p>Armin is right. The reason the Scouts continue to sustain heavy losses was the lack of information. Something was missing. Something crucial. There is still so much we don’t know about the titans. </p><p>Then it hits you. Zeke knew the Scouts would transform and he could control when. He screamed just before everyone transformed. <i> His scream— </i> </p><p>The titan howls in pain. You bring a hand to still your shaky knees. Time moves slower in the darkness. You’re not sure if seconds have passed or hours. According to your pounding heart, it’s only been a minute or two. </p><p>The jaw of the titan falls open unnaturally, the force jerking you forward and out of the musty cavern. Suddenly you’re falling. Falling out of the titan’s mouth and hurtling towards the mossy floor far faster than you’d like. </p><p>Your limbs snap into action and you pull the triggers to secure the anchors into a nearby branch. You miss Levi retreating his blades after tearing through its mandible and forcing its jaw open. </p><p>You must have terrible luck. All four anchors miss the sturdy branch you were aiming for. You’re free-falling mere meters above the forest floor.</p><p>You reach out for anything. A curling piece of bark. Foliage to break your fall. Anything to save you from all the bones you’re about to break.  </p><p>Your deft fingers find a merciful twig. You cling on for dear life. When you look down, you see that you’re at least ten meters above the ground. </p><p>Your anchors may have failed you but you still have your blades left. You rip your left hand off the bark and reach for one of your blades. You can still make your way down with a dull blade. </p><p>Propping yourself up on your injured arm, you ram a blade into the heart of the trunk. The dull throb in your shoulder blooms into a sharp pain. </p><p>The shifting of your weight at the weird angle brings about an unfortunate popping noise from your shoulder. Hot tears roll down your cheeks. </p><p>You search for a heap of soft leaves to cushion your fall, but the forest floor below is barren. At this height, you’ll be lucky to walk away with a broken hip. </p><p>You slide down a few meters before the pain becomes blinding. Forced to let go of the blade, you close your eyes and brace yourself for the impact. Perhaps from this height, the fall will be less fatal. </p><p>The pain comes far too soon and centers around your torso and knees. You must have landed hard again until you open your eyes. </p><p>A pair of wiry arms wrap around your waist and another clutching the bend of your legs. Levi catches you just in time. You melt into his warmth. </p><p>The last few hours have taken a toll on your mind and body. Not thinking clearly, your trembling fingers cling onto his shoulders. Levi holds you close to his chest as he lands on a thick branch. </p><p>Levi releases a relieved sigh. “You’ve looked better.” </p><p>You remember that you are covered in titan fluids that you’d rather not think about. You can’t tell from his black uniform but Levi’s face is covered in disappearing wisps of titan blood. At least it’s not his. </p><p>You let out a small laugh. “Don’t like my new shampoo?” Levi places you gently on your feet. He must have ripped through the titan’s jaw when he saw you flailing in its mouth. </p><p>“Still pulling bad jokes.” Levi tuts. “Is your gear broken?” Concern coats his gray eyes. He scours the gear strapped to your back. </p><p>“The triggers are a little faulty but still functional.” A genuine smile splays on your face. “Your timing could use some work.” You’re glad you have him by your side again. </p><p>“Why didn’t you jump out when you had the chance?” Levi asks, crossing his arms against his chest. </p><p>“The titan was darting through the forest. Since it didn’t eat me, I thought it could take me to where Zeke is.” You answer, wiping away the saliva and tears dripping down the sides of your face. </p><p>“Since it didn’t eat you, you thought it was a good idea to stay in its mouth longer?” Anger seeps through his words. </p><p>“I didn’t want Zeke to escape.” You reason. </p><p>“Don’t be so reckless.” Levi sighs, pulling a handkerchief from his pocket. He knows how stubborn you can be once you set your mind to something. Levi folds the material and gently dries your face. </p><p>“Sometimes recklessness is the only option.” You grumble as your eyes wander in search of the titan that trapped you in its mouth. </p><p>“We can follow the abnormal,” You pause, gazing at the mangled fifteen-meter titan a few meters away from where you would have landed. “... once it heals.” The titan was still twitching to move in the direction where Zeke must be. </p><p>Levi only had a few seconds from when he ripped through its jaw and caught you before you splattered on the forest floor. He still managed to inflict paralyzing damage on the titan. The time crunch alone held Levi from plunging his blades through the nape. Once it healed, the titan would be up and running in a few minutes. </p><p>“He’s still in the forest.” Levi glances in the direction Zeke escaped in. “That shitstain couldn’t have gotten far.” </p><p>Your movements are careful to spare your right arm from moving too much. It’s subtle but Levi notices the way you favor your left arm over your right. You try to be discrete. You don’t want to be a burden in this battle against Zeke, one of many. </p><p>When you lift your right arm to measure its mobility, you wince. You must have done something to it in the fall. Your eyes meet Levi’s. He’s caught on. </p><p>“It’s nothing.” You play off the fact your dominant arm is bruised and battered. “Let’s get going.” You move to get to your feet. </p><p>“Not before I take a look at your shoulder.” Levi sighs and lowers beside you. His fingers quickly find the zipper on your side. </p><p>You give him a small nod before he unzips the sleek uniform and slides your injured arm out. Your shoulder is much worse than expected. The socket is out of its usual place. A fresh bruise covers the surface. </p><p>“You dislocated it.” Levi surmises, running his icy fingers against the bruised skin. </p><p>“Can you fix it?” Your voice, uncharacteristically small. You don’t want to be left behind and watch as Levi and Zeke battle it out. You want to know the truth behind Zeke’s motives. </p><p>“It’s going to be painful,” Levi warns. Popping a shoulder back in place is no easy feat. </p><p>“Just do it and get it over with,” You huff. You put on a strong facade and swallow the fears building in your throat. Levi sees right through. He pulls out a dark material from his pocket. </p><p>“Here, bite this.” He hands you a clean leather cloth. You grasp Levi’s forearm as you sink your teeth into the coarse material, anticipating the worst. </p><p>Levi clutches your other wrist, pulling it forward and straight, guiding the ball back into the socket. You hear a small <i>pop</i> followed by excruciating pain. </p><p>Your hold on Levi’s bicep tightens. Tears prick your eyes and your bottom lip quivers in pain. </p><p>“It’s back in place,” Levi reveals, returning a stray wisp of your hair behind your ear. </p><p>You look down at your shoulder, it’s red and swollen from the injury. Not good as new but still usable. </p><p>“Thanks, Levi.” You give him a small smile as you maneuver your arm carefully. You don’t want to overexert it just yet, but you have to find out its limits before it's fully healed. You can swing your arm around in a circle but it stings if you do it too fast.</p><p> "Don't push yourself so hard." Levi scowls. "I can't handle a berserk soldier and an oversized monkey." </p><p> "I can't promise you anything." You grin as you rise to your feet. “Let’s get the bearded bastard.” </p>
<hr/><p>Levi is a hound when it comes to tracking Zeke down, sometimes surpassing the abnormal titan swinging in the trees. He wastes no time and follows an untraceable trail. Levi whizzes past trees, leaving you a path to follow. </p><p>Zeke is aware of the severe disadvantage he's in the forest, surrounded by scalable trees, perfect for carving out his nape. His titan form is useless in the forest so he must be on foot. Zeke won’t transform until he absolutely has to. His transformation will be your signal to attack. </p><p>Levi darts forward, not wanting to lose sight of the abnormal titan. He moves at an incredible speed, it would be difficult for you to keep up even without the battered arm. </p><p>You swing from tree to tree, leaning on your left arm. Zeke may not be the person you thought he was, but you still hold strong feelings for him. When the time comes, will you be able to take him down? </p><p>Levi lands on a branch and signals with his fingers for you to do the same. When you reach the branch, the abnormal titan has passed you both and continued forward through the forest. Unceremoniously, the titan releases its fingers and drops down to the forest floor. </p><p>The titan sinks its claws into the bark of a tree to slow its descent, landing safely a dozen meters above. The trees ahead block the view from the bottom of the forest. You have to tiptoe to catch sight of golden hair swaying in the breeze. </p><p>Zeke. </p><p>Zeke sits on the hands of one of the titans, speaking with them as they carry him through the forest. </p><p>Another anomaly you have never seen before. Hange tried time and time again to communicate with pure and abnormal titans but no such luck. Despite having vocal cords, titans could not speak or simply did not have the mental capacity to respond. </p><p>But Zeke is. You’re not sure what he’s saying but you can see his lips move as he speaks to the abnormal titan. </p><p>“Is he talking to the titans?” You whisper to Levi. </p><p>“Either that or he’s just talking to himself.” Levi seethes. </p><p>Zeke seems to only have two titans. When the titan that once imprisoned you in its mouth joins them, the other titans slow down as Zeke begins to converse with it. </p><p>Beside you, Levi lifts a thunder spear off his back and launches it in their direction, ending their brief conversation. </p><p>“Levi, we could have tried listening to what they were saying!” You gasp. </p><p>“He still thinks that you’re in its mouth,” Levi concludes. “We’re going to take advantage of that fact.” </p><p>The thunder spear explodes just meters from the titans, leaving Zeke unscathed. Levi swoops down after Zeke. One of his anchors grazes the titans congregated around Zeke. </p><p>A look of horror covers Zeke’s features. He wasn’t expecting Levi to find him so soon. A scream rips from his throat.  </p><p>“Run—” </p><p>The titans bolt in unison out of the forest. Levi won’t let them get far. He propels forward and cuts the limbs of the titans to ribbons, rendering them defenseless until he carves out the nape. </p><p>“Not this again.” Zeke cries out. His voice filled with desperation you haven’t heard before. Cornered with limited options, Zeke decides to do what he knows best. </p><p>Levi lands on a branch and watches carefully as Zeke bites into the flesh of his palm. You bring a hand to cover your eyes from the blinding light that fills the forest. The thundering noise confirms Zeke’s transformation. </p><p>When you look up from the branch, the Beast Titan towers the forest. Your legs shake with fear. You have only seen Zeke in his titan form a handful of times, all of them result in the deaths of countless comrades, this time is no different. </p><p>His echoing cries bring you back to the conversation you had with Zeke just days ago. Zeke held you close to his chest as he slowly shared one of his most painful memories. </p><p>The sole battle he’s lost against a single person. The one-sided assault with Levi in Shiganshina four years ago. </p><p>Sliced to shreds, every limb cut off, a blade shoved so far up his throat that it came out from his eye socket. While Zeke can heal from most physical injuries, his titan abilities do nothing to subside the pain. </p><p>Levi is ruthless to those who threaten the safety of his soldiers. And Zeke had done more than that. He single-handedly claimed the lives of most of the Scouts, including Commander Erwin. </p><p>His shoulders shook as he recalled his trauma. You comforted him but you know the truth. This took place after Zeke turned the majority of the Scouts into nothing but pink dust in Shiganshina. </p><p>You can’t condone any of their actions. Zeke killed countless Scouts and Levi was ready to kill Zeke. What you can do is prevent any more bloodshed from taking place. </p><p>You take a deep breath to calm your nerves. You remember the desperate cry of help Zeke released just moments before. Despite his intimidating size and features, the forest is the perfect place to take down Zeke. Scalable trees cover every inch of the forest.</p><p>Something reflective in the grass catches your eyes. You land silently on the forest floor to get a better look. Forgotten in a bed of grass lay Zeke’s glasses. They must have fallen off when the thunder spear hit the vicinity. You dust off the thin layer of dust and slide them into your pocket. </p><p>Zeke may need them later. </p><p>“Done already, Levi?” Zeke rumbles in a haunted voice. “Thought it would take you a little longer to kill your poor soldiers.” </p><p>The Beast Titan grabs the heaping piles of steaming titan flesh and tears the head off one of the titans, forming it into a gruesome weapon. Thick rivulets of blood spray the air and crimson streaks paint the forest. </p><p>Your eyes widen once you see the layer of impenetrable crystal form on Zeke’s nape. Levi will have no other choice than to use the thunder spears strapped to his back. </p><p>The thunder spears are lethal, used sparingly against titan shifters unless absolutely needed. The explosion of a single thunder spear in close proximity of the nape is enough to severely wound the titan shifter. </p><p>The Beast Titan is lined with fur, not armored plates. It was a miracle Reiner survived the dozen thunder spears lodged in his nape in Shiganshina four years ago. </p><p>If Levi utilizes multiple thunder spears and plunges them deep inside the flesh of the Beast Titan’s nape, there is a low chance Zeke will survive the explosion.</p><p>That’s another thing about the thunder spears. They are deadly to those who use them. Levi may not be able to dodge multiple explosions. </p><p>There’s a feral look in Levi’s pale eyes. His usual calm features are now filled with bloodlust. It clicks. Levi will kill Zeke. Even if it’s the last thing he does. </p><p>Levi initiates the assault, trailing the perimeter of the area Zeke is located. Levi stops to collect twigs and branches and tucks them under an arm for safekeeping. </p><p>“Come out, come out from wherever you are.” Zeke taunts, crushing the skull into small chunks of flesh. </p><p>Levi ignores Zeke, responding to him now would only reveal his location. As Levi closes in, he sporadically drops some twigs to throw Zeke off. Consumed by fear, Zeke launches the bits and pieces of flesh at the smallest noise. </p><p>Zeke misses by a longshot. By the time the twigs hit the ground and make the noise, Levi is already long gone. Levi must want to use up Zeke’s limited ammunition. </p><p>“Getting desperate, are we?” Levi’s words echo deep within the tresses of the forest. Zeke pitches another string of mangled flesh in the direction of his voice. </p><p>“And all you had to do was sit back and read.” He sighs, dropping another set of branches. Zeke hesitates before throwing another handful of steaming flesh. Zeke is running dangerously low. </p><p>“What gave you the idea that you could escape me?” Levi mocks. He removes the remaining seven thunder spears from his back and moves to fire them. </p><p>Only, you’re faster. </p><p> You have three thunder spears and one shot at succeeding. </p><p>Pulling the hood up of your green cloak, you work quickly in silence. While Zeke searches the surrounding trees for any movements of Levi, you sweep in from the sky. Zeke misses the dark figure hurdling directly above him with deadly thunder spears. </p><p> From above, you launch two thunder spears directly into the Beast Titan's eyes. One thunder spear pierces in his eye while the other manages to go through his eyelid. You release the spears and pin your anchors to a nearby tree. The explosions rob Zeke of his vision. He lets out a blood-curdling scream. </p><p>You take your final thunder spear and fire it directly at Zeke. The thunder spear grazes his nape, clearing most of the hardened crystal right off. The thunder spear sinks into a tree directly behind the Beast Titan. </p><p>If Zeke thought you missed, he’s wrong. The thunder spear explodes too close to the Beast Titan’s exposed nape. </p><p>You fire your anchors to escape the explosion. You reel your wires and land on a nearby tree. The impact of the explosion throws you back against the trunk of the tree you landed on.</p><p>With the hardened crystal stripped off, you need to work fast. You swap your blades for a fresh pair and scale the Beast Titan. You slit the tendons of its wiry arms and make your way back to his nape. </p><p>Your blades slice deep into the flesh of the base of the Beast Titan’s skull, carving out a v-shaped slit of flesh until you reach the tip of its spinal column.</p><p>The flap of flesh peels back and reveals Zeke embedded in the nape. You sever the stubborn flesh that still holds Zeke in place. Once he’s free, you pull your blades out and return them to your holsters.</p><p>The Beast Titan falls forward, landing flat on its face. Looping your arms over Zeke’s, you pull him out until you both fall back on the titan’s lower back. </p><p>His transformation leaves him drained. He can’t put up a fight after such a strenuous battle. Even one he lost. </p><p>A part of you is glad. Glad that you made it in time before Levi did. Glad that Zeke is still alive in your arms. You scan his body for any wounds. Your aim was precise but you can’t control where the pieces of shrapnel land. </p><p>Seeing no fatal injuries, you place your trembling hands on his chest. When you feel his heart still beating, you sigh in relief. </p><p>The lingering steam in the air slowly dissipates. The titan marking underneath his eyes stretches to his cheekbones. You look up to meet familiar arctic eyes.</p><p>But you are no longer hopelessly in love with Zeke. You need answers. You quickly let go of him and bring your foot to crush his clavicle. </p><p>“Was it your scream that triggered the mass transformation?” You ask in a hostile voice. A soft breeze blows your hood off, unveiling your identity. </p><p>“I should’ve known.” Zeke groans, gently moving your foot. </p><p>“Known what?” </p><p>“That I’m no match for you.” Zeke sighs, bringing a hand closer to your face. His fingertips graze the corners of your cheeks, wiping the unshed tears welling up in your eyes. </p><p>Suddenly the arm touching your face is severed at the shoulder. Levi lands lightly beside you and takes out Zeke's other arm. </p><p>Your hands shake. Bile rises in your throat. You try to convince yourself that this was the lesser of two evils. That Zeke would be in much more pain if Levi used all his thunder spears. That at the very least, Zeke is alive. </p><p> <i> But at what cost? </i> You wish you could turn back time and relive those sunsets with Zeke once more. Your eyes turn glassy.</p><p> Zeke shuts his eyes and lets out a staggered breath. Levi wastes no time slicing off his legs mid-thigh. It’s painful to watch as Zeke loses each limb. You flinch as Levi saws away through the bone when his blade gets caught. </p><p>“You know the drill. Why didn’t you cut off his limbs?” Levi asks when he catches your repulsed glance. </p><p>“Zeke has nothing to throw even if he transforms again. While you’re still in the forest, he can’t escape.” You respond quietly. </p><p>“You can never be too sure.” Levi retorts. </p><p>You’re too exhausted to even roll your eyes. The adrenaline pumping in your veins is all but disappeared, leaving you drained. Your knees lock and you fall to the floor. </p><p>You land on your hips, your hands hover over the sleeve on your side.</p><p>Zeke’s glasses feel impossibly heavy in your pocket.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Sorry I took so long to post, I was in jail. This chapter was a rollercoaster to write. </p><p>Can't wait to watch the final episode of S4. Maybe we'll see naked Zeke? </p><p>If you enjoyed the fic, leave a comment below. I always love reading them &lt;33</p><p>Edit: horny jail**</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
</body>
</html>